Another possible psychological reaction a woman might have to the No Contact Rule is, If a guy ignores his ex for too long (30 to 60 days) she may start thinking things like, Hes ignoring me now? She begins to wonder, Why is he ignoring me like this? Whereas, when a man goes through the stage of confusion, he seeks a way to know what is going on. Chances are, you would too. She then goes out of her way to find a replacement guy (e.g. The people in your circle need to know. By the time her gets around to contacting her 30 or 60 days later her, shes built up so much negative emotion towards him (e.g. Updated January 18, 2022 by Callisto Adams Leave a Comment. Is he trying to act like he doesnt care, when I know he does? Some would also say they have moved on but will prove themselves wrong once they have broken the no contact rule. If you begged and pleaded your ex-girlfriend to reconsider the breakup during no contact and acted on impulse, simply restart the no contact rule. Remember that no timeline is followed when it comes to thepsychology of no contact on dumper. And once the no contact rule is in place, they begin the waiting game for the effects of no contact to kick in. Psychology Of No Contact On The Female Dumper! When stress decreased, she could then cope again, so she blocked you again. Yet, rather than doing that, he instead decides to use the No Contact Rule and ends up totally ignoring her for 30 to 60 days. So if your ex-girlfriend is acting out of control, chances are she will never reach the levels of emotional maturity you need her to be on for the no contact rule to work. Stop overthinking about thedumper and dumpee psychology. Your ex-woman will only acknowledge you worth when youre diligently recovering in no contact and portraying strength. Callisto Adams has been a dating and relationship expert for more than 6 years. Should you contact the dumper after no contact? Manage the urge of contacting her by focusing on your work, deleting her number, taking her out of your social media, reading new books, everything to shift your mind from her to anything else; 4. Its difficult, but it will be doubly hard if you wont take this time to think, care about yourself more, and work hard to become a better person outside of a relationship. She asked for space, but then said shes treating it as a breakup, but could see us working out because she still loves me? Some guys assume that all they really need to do is cut off contact and wait. At this stage, she finds little courage to draw a line between what she expected in this relationship and what she got. After 2 years my ex-wife unblocked me only on Facebook Messenger. This is fantastic! Similarly, we will be discussing the effect on a female dumpee. Also, be aware of the 30-day to get your ex back scam. In some cases it will work that way, but in most cases, the woman doesnt feel enough attraction for her ex to continue pursuing, or she seeks to make herself feel better by hooking up with new guys. So, she will decide to stop contacting him, hook up with other guys to make herself feel better and eventually get revenge on her ex by allowing him to find out about it (e.g. So, she remains open to the idea of getting back with him if he interacts with her, creates a spark and makes her want him again. Instead, you stand the risk of losing her to another guy who is actively making her feel attracted by flirting with her, hitting on her or hooking up with her sexually. Once shes curious enough and perhaps dates a few other men, she will face reality. My Husband Still Works With The Woman He Had An Affair With, learning how to cope with stress and anxiety, back off and allow her to deal with her emotions, stop asking questions she doesnt want to answer, make the conversations only about important things (kids, bills, family, etc. Your ex-girlfriend isnt sitting by the phone, waiting for you to call her. If anyone has any other comments, Id love to hear, but I like the idea of implementing an indefinite no-contact rule. Dont worry about getting her back with no contact for now. You may wonder why your ex is not initiating contact despite the existence of the rule. There are, however, some minor differences when it comes to the female stimulus and the way the female mind works in no contact. You have to look at it this way. I had quit my really good job a year back to write a book, and I finished that book, but after, I didnt have any new goals, and so I became cranky for about four months. If you think it is easier for males to recover from a breakup even if they initiated it, you are wrong. You should know the reason that she broke up with you; 4. You have to improve your ability to attract her, so when you interact with her, you are able to talk to her in a way that creates sparks of sexual and romantic attraction. You will need their help to finish all the. When youre in no contact, you are in no-contact indefinitely. You will likely have grown and healed so much by the time you hear from your ex-girlfriend that shes going to be just a thing from the past. How does the dumper feel during the stages of the no contact rule? Oh, really? If a woman has broken up with you, depending on the reasons that lead her to break up, they will come back or not. I think No Contact is probably the only way she will realize how much I gave her, but with all the denial and enabling going on, not hopeful. When the male and female psychology is triggered during the No Contact Rule, the last stage is when the dumper that feels guilty and wants to come back, reaches you out. Well kinda broke up with me? She will likely think I dont want to be in a relationship with my ex anymore, but he sure is making it easier on me by taking my guilt away.. She knows how to dump me so she can figure out that she needs to make the first move. He feels unbothered, free, and independent When you start to use the No Contact rule with a dumper, during the first days he feels free and independent. He has already helped countless men from all over the world to get their ex woman back and he can help you too. Maybe its the right time for me to open a new page. Fear of losing you to be specific. and beg to get back together. She will bring herself down and blame herself that she was the reason for this breakup. Now, she feels sad, alone, and angered. Once she breaks up with you, you have no choice but to go no contactboth for yourself and her. When shes done, shes done. If you are, then watch this free video by Dan to discover the secret to getting her back FAST. You (the dumper) have it easier. It defeats the purpose of the process if you are only doing this because you want to be missed. I'm going to take that situation and reverse engineer the process so you can understand what's going on in an ex's brain, and also figure out how to give this remorse a good chance of growing. And thats something I take very seriously. There are only two things you should consider when a woman breaks up with you and youre following no contact. She is feels like she made the right decision, but cant help but wonder whether or not she might change how she feels and give him another chance. Even if a guy isnt using the No Contact Rule and is simply feeling too nervous and insecure about contacting her, the longer he waits to contact her (i.e. So even if youre having a bad day and you want to reach out to your ex for comfort, do your best not to break no contact. There shouldnt be any gray area. Breaking up in any kind of relationship is not easy, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee. The ultimate aim of this article is to help you understand how a dumper is feeling after a month of no contact. Just put yourself in her shoes for a minute and imagine how your ex would feel if you stay in her life. It is helpful to understand what happens during no contact in the female mind. This way, they'll be still around. Theno contact rule psychologyis not about making your ex miss you so that they will make the first move. Adjust it to the length of your relationship (it can be a few days, weeks, or months). Does No Contact Work If Your Ex Is Seeing Someone Else? I made everything that I could do, why am I all sad and alone? Youre not playing mind games on her. She is well-read on masculine & feminine psychology, the primitive biological design that shapes our contemporary lives, romantic connections, and the way that people give and receive the signs of them. Are Dumpers Afraid To Contact Their Dumpees? I started dating my ex in 1999. Im blocked again. Well, he should contact me by now right?, 4. Now its too late. They're convinced that breaking up was the right thing to do, so they need to enjoy their new life for a while, get into trouble, and be proven wrong. ). You can now contact your ex and see where it leads. Craig is a dating coach and psychotherapist and wil. 4 common mistakes that guys make when using the No Contact Rule, are 1. Here are 9 stages that help you have a better idea of whats on her mind: She will be desperate to contact you as soon as she breaks up with you. , you have to give yourself and your partner time to look after yourselves separately while ensuring that you keep your distance. The masculine energy within all of us - but especially within men, finds it easy to let go. If your ex currently doesnt feel much or any attraction for you, she is almost certainly not going to care if you dont contact her anymore. Well, thats over now. She then puts all her effort into completely switching off her feelings for him and moving on (i.e. 1. Start the healing process again and let the time do its work. because youve made them miss you, the relationship will likely fail. Time apart can help ease the pain of a break up and make a guys mistakes seem less terrible than they were before. is easier than that of the dumpee, you may be mistaken. The questions about why your ex is not making a move to get back together might haunt you. No contact can work even if you resorted to begging and pleading after the breakup. Please accept that and move on.. Here are 9 stages that a man goes through during the No Contact: 1. At the end of the third week and the beginning of the fourth, she will start to wonder if she made the right decision. Unless her decision was fundamental and she was already feeling something for another guy. Now that even you and your female ex go through the same stages of no contact but the difference lies at the beginning of the whole process. At this stage, the melancholy hit her hard. If nothing else, you will at least eventually regain the respect youd lost from your ex. The dumper and the dumpee, both go through pain, anxiety, fear of loss, jealousy, hate, and reconsideration through different stages. Youve reached this far. My ex was sexually abused when she was young. Breaking no contact with your ex-girlfriend pushes her away and makes you suffer again. No, a female dumper won't always come back. Wont talk to me. After all, she did not see that coming. No contact female psychology As you likely already know, the 30, 45, or 60-day no contact rule is a hoax. This is a common mistake many people make until it becomes an obsession. Leaving your ex-girlfriend completely alone makes her happy. I have noticed that every man wanting to get back together with his ex-girlfriend would do anything to get his ex back. Am I just being emotional now cuz the breakup get you ll done, 5. The second rule of no contact is to use it the way its meant to be used and not half-way. 9 reasons you should & 6 reasons you shouldnt. Grief and sorrow are the female response to no-contact 3. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. No matter what you think, dont. As a result of renewed hope, they apply it immediately or shortly after theyve begged and pleaded. Your ex has to be the one to message you. Coach Craig Kenneth explains the psychology of the no contact rule on a dumper (your ex) after a breakup. Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *. She contacted me! Sure, women are more emotional on average, and the no contact period is somewhat more turbulent and chaotic for them, especially in the beginning. When you do this, your ex will initially be very happy about the space youre giving her. My ex and I were engaged ( twice). Hes clearly not the guy for me. The No Contact Rule is the best!. You dont have to like it and you dont have to love it. Why did I spend all that time to make him all happy and I wasnt appreciated at all? As for why she unblocked you, she probably realized that she went too far and that theres no need to continue to act immature about it. If youre going to do the indefinite no contact rule, please do it the way youre supposed to do it. If you do that, youll maximize your chances with your ex as well as recover as fast as you can. For no contact to work on a woman, you must set the foundation for the laws of the universe to do its job. The terms name explains what it means no contact with your ex following a breakup. All rights reserved. So did my ex. But even if I were to convince her to come back to me, I wouldnt be able to live with myself as being a servant to her. Sexual and romantic attraction is what makes a woman want to be together and stay together. more than 7 days), the more likely she will assume hes playing mind games with her. If you have found yourself struggling during the phases of the rule, it might not hurt to seek professional advice to help you deal with your demons. So, when you completely stop contacting her and dont even send her the occasional text to say Hi, or to check how shes doing, she might assume that youre using the No Contact Rule on her to hopefully make her miss you and come running back. Theno contact after breakup psychologywill only work if both parties commit to it. She might bounce back to you when her rebound fails. Rememer, no contact is based on the following principles: Be nice and respectful to your wife even though she may not act nicely toward you. Or maybe choose to keep one eye closed on your issues. In your exs eyes, you simply remain as the broken-hearted dumpee. On the other hand, if you ignore her before you reactivate her feelings for you, shes just not going to care that youre no longer contacting her. Focus on yourself more, pick a hobby, visit new places, meet new people; 3. Most women go through a difficult period of emotional anguish following a breakup. The first rule of the no contact rule is to never break itever. The only difference between the two genders is that women tend to come back often for security when men come back for ego purposes. The reason I am telling you to improve is because this is your time to make things right. It doesnt get any clearer than when your ex-girlfriend says she needs space. I did the mistake of reaching out and begging. After several days, a couple of weeks, or months, it depends onhow the dumper feels during no contactrule; you will start getting curious. Running after her may work in Hollywood movies but not in real life. The following blogpost will be checking out the psychology of no-contact on a male dumper. She doesnt want, nor deserve your determination to work things out at the moment. But, the denial, enabling codependency thing seems to be in full control. Could this mean hes over me? Im going to get myself a real man who can handle a woman like me.. No contact doesnt work on women dumpers when you have been extremely negligent, unfair, cruel, abusive, disrespectful, authoritative, distant for ages, controlling beyond belief and anything despicable. Instead of thinking about your ex, you have to focus on self-improvement and healing. Its quite the opposite. But, to know exactly if its going to work on your female partner, first, you should check some things: 1. dont contact her for 30 to 60 days) after a break up: It would really be nice if all a guy had to do to get his girl back after a break up is ignore her for 30 or 60 days. Now she is excited to be single and explore but she doesnt feel like that exactly. We do, however, know that somebody has an important lesson to teach your ex-girlfriend. Praying and wishing you could crawl back into her life and consequently, heart is desperate-thinking and completely disrespectful to yourself. You will never be happy again and honestly, neither will she. That's why during the No contact the dumper and the dumpee swap the feelings interchangeably. So, before you decide whether or not to use the No Contact Rule on your ex woman, take a moment to understand where other guys mess up when using it. 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